Accept and Confirm Others


  • A smile, a pat on the arm, a handshake; these all say hey! I recognize you as a person and confirm that you exist!


  • “Mhm,” “Oh that must have made you so mad,” “So what you’re saying is you think you’re going to lose your job?”–these all acknowledge what the other person is saying, and you’re letting him/her know that you confirm what he/she is saying and feeling and are responding in a person-centered way.


  • This is the strongest kind of confirmation.  What you’re doing here is accepting and confirming their point of view as well as empathizing with the other person. 



**This is not merely disagreement.  Disconfirming someone and what they’re saying, thinking, or feeling involves telling them: “You’re talking crazy!”  “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard!”  “Yea, can you stop talking because I really don’t care what you’re talking about”


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